Queerspawn on the Couch

Queerspawn on the Couch: A Guide for Clinicians Working With Youth and Adults With LGBT Parents Megan McKnight Support for LGBTQ families is on the rise and many research studies have been published proving that children with LGBTQ parents fare just as well as children raised by heterosexual, cisgender parents. However, despite the growing acceptance of LGBTQ families, much of the literature and many community resources have only focused on the parents. We still know very little about the experiences and development of queerspawn. In particular, many are unfamiliar with the kinds of support queerspawn need, the language they may use to speak about their identity/ies, and their unique relationship to queerness and queer community. The culmination of this paper includes clinical recommendations for providers to consider when working in clinical settings with queerspawn. O ver the last decade, the visibility of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) families has multiplied greatly, and these families have begun gaining acceptance within American society. Compared with even 10 years prior, the number of organizations dedicated to advancing legal protections for LGBT families, producing teacher trainings about LGBT families, including more inclusive language on parental consent forms in school, and even increasing the number of children’s books centering on LGBT families have climbed dramatically. Yet, despite the new attention LGBT families have received, an evident hierarchy has emerged with regard to which members of LGBT families are discussed most frequently by researchers and in the media. There have been extensive research studies and publications that address same-sex parenting, including topics of adoption, donor insemination, surrogacy, same-sex stepfamilies, and coming out to your children (Goldberg, Moyer, Weber, & Shapiro, 2013; Bergman, Rubio, Green, & Padron, 2010; Lynch, 2005; Vanfraussen, Ponjaert-Kristoffersen, & Brewaeys, 2003; Lynch & Murray, 2000). Families with transgender parents have not received this high level of attention, and far fewer research inquiries have been conducted in this area. Yet, of particular importance for this paper is the lack of acknowledgement of the experiences, realities, and identities of those who were raised in LGBT-parented households. As a result of the shortage of research about this population, there is little knowledge about this group proliferating outside of peer communities of those raised in LGBT families. In particular, clinicians are often not presented with information about this population and aspects to consider when working Columbia Social Work Review, Vol. VII | 11 © 2016 McKnight. This is an open-access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License, which permits the user to copy, distribute, and transmit the work provided that the original author(s) and source are credited. Queerspawn on the Couch with these clients. This paper seeks to begin filling that gap by outlining recommendations and considerations for clinicians working with youth or adults raised by one or more LGBT parents. Literature Review Although relatively new, there are multiple terms employed among those with LGBT parents to identify themselves within their communities and to create a way to discuss their social positionality and identities. “Queerspawn” is a term used by many members of this community to not only speak to their identity as children with LGBT parents, but to also claim a space within the larger LGBT community (Fitzgerald, 2010). The term “COLAGEr” is also used as an identifier, particularly among those involved with COLAGE, the only national organization for youth and adults with LGBT parents (Fitzgerald, 2010). In addition, “bothie” and “ 2nd Gen” are used to mark subset identities within the queerspawn community. “Bothie” refers to someone who was born into a heterosexual relationship in which the parents later both came out as LGBT or applies to instances in which LGBT people came together to create their own families, such as a lesbian couple and a gay male friend who decide to conceive together (Kuvalanka & Goldberg, 2009). Those who identify as “2nd Gen” are queerspawn who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer themselves (Kuvalanka & Goldberg, 2009). Some queerspawn with transgender parents also use the abbreviation “KOT,” meaning “kids of trans” (COLAGE, 2008). Unfortunately, the bulk of literature This narrow scope is actually about children with LGBT parents harming LGBT families by has been organized around the idea determining one’s right to of “proving” that children raised in parent based on the successes same-sex households are no different of one’s children and continues than children raised in heterosexual to measure the ‘wellbeing’ of households, and that being raised in LGBT families does not negatively queerspawn by heteronormative affect the wellbeing of these children standards and norms.” (Bos, Gartrell, Peyser, & van Balen, 2008; Lick, Tornello, Riskind, Schmidt, & Patterson, 2012; Marks, 2012). Studies have also sought to show that children with LGBT parents are not more prone to identify as gay themselves (Marks, 2012). The use of this narrow scope to understand children in LGBT families is a direct reaction to assertions and previous flawed studies from conservatives suggesting that same-sex couples and trans people should not be allowed to parent (Clarke, 2001). This debate has shown up in many research studies in the last 25 “ 12 | Columbia Social Work Review, Vol. VII McKnight years and recordable studies continue to show that children raised in LGBT families fare as well as children raised by heterosexual parents. Although studies like these were needed in the past to shift public opinion, that time has passed. Now, this narrow scope is actually harming LGBT families by determining one’s right to parent based on the successes of their children and measuring the “wellbeing” of queerspawn by heteronormative standards and norms. This has left many issues pertaining to children of LGBT parents unexamined and has allowed little room for queerspawn of all ages to voice their experiences and views of being raised in nontraditional families. More recently, a few studies have surfaced that address more nuanced and real experiences of children with LGBT parents. Research looking into the experiences of queerspawn in schools have found that these children often face heightened stigma in classroom environments due to homophobic and transphobic beliefs held by teachers, staff, and other parents (Kosciw, Diaz, GLSEN, COLAGE, & Family Equality Council, 2008; Lindsay, Perlesz, Brown, McNair, de Vaus, & Pitts, 2006). A lack of inclusion of alternative family structures in curriculums was also noted. Queerspawn who were taught such curriculums were found to be more withdrawn or aggressive than those who had inclusive curriculums (Kosciw et al, (...truncated)