Unresolved Childhood Abuse and Neglect in Adulthood: the Emotional Aspect in Relational Family Therapy

The Person and the Challenges Volume 10 (2020) Number 1, p. 139–154 DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.15633/pch.3614 Lidija Božac ORCID: https://orcid.org/0000-0001-6783-7436 University of Ljubljana, Slovenia Unresolved Childhood Abuse and Neglect in Adulthood: the Emotional Aspect in Relational Family Therapy Abstract Childhood family abuse or neglect is a traumatic relational experience with potentially long lasting impact on one’s psycho-organic and interpersonal world. The purpose of our qualitative research was to deepen the understanding of negative trauma impact on adults’ emotional world and to find the ways of recovery through Relational Family Therapy. Seven adults with the history of childhood abuse or neglect participated in the research. The results pointed out potential difficulties in identifying, naming and understanding emotions, differentiating past emotions from the present ones, distinguishing one’s own emotions from the projected ones, issues with experiencing the diversity of emotions, and difficulties with emotion regulation and management. Positive changes in these areas were observed in Relational Family Therapy. The findings of this research are a contribution to the understanding of specific emotional problems of adults with the history of childhood abuse or neglect as well as to therapeutic interventions that could lead to recovery. Keywords Childhood abuse, childhood neglect, emotions, Relational Family Therapy. 140 The Person and the Challenges Volume 10 (2020) Number 1, p. 139–154 1. Introduction When we speak of early relations, we primarily refer to relationships in which a child should feel protected, where their basic human needs are supposed to be satisfied, and where conditions for their physical, psychological and social growth and development are fulfilled. The model of attachment that a child establishes with their parents often remains a lifelong model, on the basis of which they establish all their further relationships, particularly intimate ones. For this reason, they will always look for relationships that will remind them of the relationships in the primary family and of the primary affect on the basis of which the psychological structure was built, no matter how painful those relations can be.1 The most difficult relational experiences in childhood are definitely those of abuse or neglect in the primary family, which often remain unrecognized.2 Here we speak of relational trauma when parents do not respond to or even reject the child’s needs, or respond inappropriately, and are not able to regulate the child’s internal psychological states through interaction.3 Such experiences range from extremely serious traumas with grave long-term consequences that can end up even with death, to less intense, but nevertheless harmful experiences.4 More often than individual types, combinations of different types of abuse and neglect appear. It cannot be said, for example, that a mentally abused child has not experienced mental neglect, nor can their emotional needs be fulfilled while they are physically abused.5 We must be aware that when such experiences accumulate, negative effects do not simply add up: rather, they influence each other, which implies a qualitative difference in consequences.6 1 C. Gostečnik, Psihoanaliza in sakralno izkustvo, Ljubljana 2018, Brat Frančišek, Teološka fakulteta in Frančiškanski družinski inštitut, p. 193. 2 J. Wendland et al., Links between maltreatment during childhood or adolescence and risk-related substance use among young adults, “L’évolution psychiatrique” 82 (2017), p. e24. 3 C. Gostečnik, Govorica telesa v psihoanalizi, Ljubljana 2012, Brat Frančišek, Teološka fakulteta Univerze v Ljubljani in Frančiškanski družinski inštitut, pp. 126–127. 4 D. J. Siegel, Pocket guide to interpersonal neurobiology: An integrative handbook of the mind, New York 2012, W. W. Norton & Company, pp. 39–4. 5 C. Doyle, C. Timms, Child neglect and emotional abuse: Understanding, assessment and response, Los Angeles 2014, Sage, p. 5. 6 M. Cloitre et al., A developmental approach to complex PTSD: Childhood and adult cumulative trauma as predictors of symptom complexity, “Journal of Traumatic Stress” 22 (2009) 5, p. 405. Lidija Božac Unresolved Childhood Abuse and Neglect in Adulthood… 141 The latter can be extremely complex, accompanied by various PTSD symptoms, as well as numerous disorders of self-regulatory abilities.7 Chronically traumatized children and adults who have experienced abuse or neglect can have severe problems with sensory and emotional regulation, as well as with attachment, and their sense of coherent personal identity and abilities can be severely damaged.8 Research on epigenetic neurological changes shows that in these children, specific, permanent stress responses are created that pose an additional risk that even in adulthood they will be more vulnerable to the development of psychological disorders and dysfunctional behaviour through which they will attempt to regulate their internal states (emotions and moods).9 1.1. Emotional aspect Each emotion has its roots in visceral and skeletal sensations, and in the sensations of the autonomic nervous system, where the procedural memory associated with traumatic experiences is also stored.10 Traumatized people are afraid of reexperiencing these extremely unpleasant emotions and sensations, so instead of reacting to messages their emotions try to convey, they do everything they can in order to not feel them.11 They often dissociate, they are not able to experience all emotions, their emotional reactions are seemingly not reality-based,12 they are emotionally numb and have difficulties in emotionally connecting with other 7 M. Scheffers et al., Negative body experience in women with early childhood trauma: Associations with trauma severity and dissociation, “European Journal of Psychotraumatology« 8 (2017) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5475325/pdf/zept-8-1322892.pdf (10.09.2018). 8 B. A. Van der Kolk, The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma, New York 2015, Penguin Books, p. 168. 9 J. Wendland et al., Links between maltreatment during childhood or adolescence and risk-related substance use among young adults, “L’évolution psychiatrique” 82 (2017), p. e23. 10 R. Scaer, 8 keys to brain-body balance, New York 2012, W. W. Norton & Company, pp. 64–65. 11 B. A. Van der Kolk, Posttraumatic stress disorder and the nature of trauma, in: M. F. Solomon, D. J. Siegel (eds.), Healing trauma: Attachment, mind, body, and brain, New York 2003, Norton, p. 170. 12 B. Rothschild, The body remembers: The psychophysiology of trauma and trauma treatment, New York 2000, W. W. Norton & Company, pp. 65–67. 142 The Person and the Challenges Volume 10 (2020) Number 1, p. 139–154 people.13 The ability to experience positive emotions is also severely affected, as they often associate them with danger. They tend to su (...truncated)