Need to Figure Out How to Have a Difficult Conversation? Open Your Bible!

Consensus Volume 46 Issue 2 Lutherans and the Nicene Creed Article 9 7-25-2025 Need to Figure Out How to Have a Difficult Conversation? Open Your Bible! Angela Yensen Follow this and additional works at: https://scholars.wlu.ca/consensus Part of the Practical Theology Commons Recommended Citation Yensen, Angela (2025) "Need to Figure Out How to Have a Difficult Conversation? Open Your Bible!," Consensus: Vol. 46: Iss. 2, Article 9. DOI: 10.51644/XXPD3703 Available at: https://scholars.wlu.ca/consensus/vol46/iss2/9 This Sermons is brought to you for free and open access by Scholars Commons @ Laurier. It has been accepted for inclusion in Consensus by an authorized editor of Scholars Commons @ Laurier. For more information, please contact . Yensen: Open Your Bible! Need to Figure Out How to Have a Difficult Conversation? Open Your Bible! Angela Yensen1 S ometimes we must face difficult conversations. We encounter conflicts with family members or co-workers. We are concerned for the well-being of a friend. Someone asks us to help them with something; we do not feel comfortable with the request, but we also do not feel comfortable turning it down. We need to give someone in our lives some sort of bad news. People are suggesting changes at church and we wish things could stay the same. These are just a few examples of situations we might encounter in our lives in which we struggle to figure out how to communicate. We do not want to hurt others, but we have something to communicate that we know other people probably do not want to hear. Our Bible can help us find the words, actions, and tone we need for difficult conversations. There are five principles in the Bible that can guide us through tough discussions. The first principle is taking an abundance mindset. It is natural that we struggle to focus on possibilities instead of problems, because there are many challenges in the world. However, times of chaos present opportunities—which we can see when we take an abundance mindset, focusing on goals instead of problems. The Bible points us to an abundance mindset in Matthew 6:26–30: Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will God not much more clothe you? We hear in these words of Jesus that God looks after every living thing, no matter how small and insignificant. Everything is precious to God and is blessed by God. Therefore, we can trust that God will provide for us and bless us in some way, regardless of what happens next. When we go forth mindful of the abundance of God’s gifts to us, difficult conversations are not so frightening and distressing. We can name challenges without getting stuck in distress because we know that God will meet our needs somehow, even when we cannot imagine or comprehend how possibilities or opportunities could come to us in a tough situation. A second Biblical principle for approaching difficult conversations is to be mindful of our shared imperfection as humans. This principle is captured in a phrase you have likely 1 Angela Yenssen is an MDiv student at MLUC and pastoral candidate in the Eastern Synod. This sermon was compiled from a workshop Angela lead with the Georgian Bay Ministry Area, where these themes were included in the covenant activity for the day. Biblical texts are from the New Revised Standard Version (NRSV). Published by Scholars Commons @ Laurier, 2025 1 Consensus, Vol. 46, Iss. 2 [2025], Art. 9 heard in our society: people who live in glass houses should not throw stones. This expression is used to caution people against readily criticizing others by recognizing that any critique we make of others could easily be directed back at us since all of us are flawed. This shared imperfection among humans is expressed succinctly in Romans 3:23: “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” We all live in glass houses. We cannot metaphorically surround ourselves with something stronger than glass that can withstand the stones of criticism because none of us are able to do, be, and say the right thing all the time. Sometimes we are selfish. Other times we are tired and impatient. We might struggle to forgive when someone has hurt us and instead crave revenge; we want to see people get what we think they deserve. We all share these and other aspects of a sinful nature. If someone wants to find fault with any of us, that person will have no difficulty finding flaws to draw to our attention. It is easier to speak to others with love instead of criticism when we recognize and remember that we all live in glass houses. When we have a message to give to someone that we expect the other person to find upsetting, the message can be less distressing when given in a tone of humility that recognizes the moral frailty we all, as humans, share. Putting love for ourselves and others at the centre of our approach to conversations is another Biblical principle that helps us to have tough conversations with the positive outcome that everyone feels heard and accepted. As noted in Proverbs 19:8, “To acquire wisdom is to love oneself.” Although we should recognize our flawed nature, we should not hate ourselves for our mistakes. Hating ourselves dishonours God. As stated in 1 John 4:7, “We love because he first loved us.” God loves all of humanity, so we should love ourselves and others. The principle that love should be the foundation of all human activity is captured in the well-known passage from Matthew 22:37–40: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbour as yourself. The challenging moments of life are not so hard to bear when we feel loved. Any difficult conversation will be easier if the people in that discussion feel loved. Choosing words and actions communicated in a tone that conveys love, and remembering we are worthy of love ourselves, will create an environment in which people can feel safe and secure for an exchange of upsetting truths required for a fruitful conversation about a sensitive topic. Although choosing our words carefully to convey love, humility, and a mindset of abundance is essential to facilitate an exchange of perspectives about a sensitive issue, how we listen is equally important to how we talk in a challenging conversation. In the Bible, people often learned by listening to the parables of Jesus. We should listen more than we talk in a conversation so that w (...truncated)