Using Chickering’s Vectors: A Sexual Assault Survivor’s Identity Development

The Vermont Connection Volume 26 The (Un)Changing Academy Article 4 January 2005 Using Chickering’s Vectors: A Sexual Assault Survivor’s Identity Development Suzanne Jolly Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.uvm.edu/tvc Part of the Higher Education Administration Commons Recommended Citation Jolly, Suzanne (2005) "Using Chickering’s Vectors: A Sexual Assault Survivor’s Identity Development," The Vermont Connection: Vol. 26 , Article 4. Available at: https://scholarworks.uvm.edu/tvc/vol26/iss1/4 This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the College of Education and Social Services at ScholarWorks @ UVM. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Vermont Connection by an authorized editor of ScholarWorks @ UVM. For more information, please contact . Using Chickering’s Vectors: A Sexual Assault Survivor’s Identity Development Suzanne Jolly The author uses Scholarly Personal Narrative and Chickering’s (1969) seven vectors of identity development to outline her own movement from the identity of a victim of two sexual assaults to the identity of a survivor. The application of survivor identity development theory is discussed in hope that higher education professionals will endeavor to recognize, celebrate, and facilitate the development of survivor identities. In higher education, we work to honor and celebrate the identities of those who have been historically and systematically oppressed. I have a new identity to add to the list: the survivor identity. In order to help higher education professionals better understand survivor identity development, I will share my own identity development from a victim of sexual assaults into a survivor. I will use Scholarly Personal Narrative methodology to make concrete connections to student development theory. In the book, Education and Identity, Chickering (1969) outlined seven vectors of identity development. These vectors work well as a framework for survivor identity development and can aid student affairs administrators in better understanding how to support victims and survivors of sexual assault. I hope that drawing parallels between my identity development as a survivor and a commonly-used student development theory will increase the acceptance, acknowledgement, and development of this identity in higher education. Survivor Identity I watch people living their lives on the roadsides walking or driving in their cars and I wonder how they do it. What do they live through? Where do they find that surviving piece? (S. Jolly, personal communication, March 24, 2004) It is estimated that one in three women and one in seven men during their college years will face a sexual assault or an attempted sexual assault (Warshaw, 1994). These estimates point out that survivors and victims are common within our campus communities. This identity, however, is hidden and often buried by heavy layers of shame, societal blame, guilt, self-doubt, and fear. It is an identity that is rarely celebrated, except in Take Back the Night marches, women’s centers, and victim advocacy services. It has been difficult for me to speak about this part of who I am. It is something I feel I am told to gently cradle as a secret, wounded piece. This article, however, allows me to openly define my survivor identity. I do this in order to name what society wishes to remain unnamed in hope that others will feel comfortable identifying themselves openly as sexual assault survivors. For the purpose of this article, I define a survivor as someone who is dealing with or has dealt with the physical, psychological, emotional, and societal ramifications of one or more sexual assaults. Survivors actively seek healing through a variety of methods and work to personalize this healing process for themselves. These methods of healing can be directly connected to Chickering’s (1969) seven vectors of identity development: learning to manage emotions, reestablishing autonomy and moving through interdependence, developing competence, freeing interpersonal relationships, establishing survivor identity, and developing purpose and integrity. Survivors work their way through these stages of healing and, by doing so, begin to address the shame and blame that are attached to the labels of victim and survivor. Developing a survivor identity is a complex and personal process. I suggest using Chickering’s (1969) identity vectors as a way of understanding this personal process. No one will experience the developmental process in the same way, and my way of developing into a survivor is only one way of experiencing this identity development process. Robinson (2002) said about the healing process: No matter what your trauma was, no matter what your coping mechanisms and reactions are, and no matter how mild or severe they are, it is possible for you to become healthier, stronger, happier, and more balanced. Look at this period in Suzanne Jolly received a Bachelor of Arts in Communication at Simon Fraser University before joining UVM’s HESA graduating class of 2005. After developing a passion for student affairs through work in residential life, she currently enjoys working at her graduate assistantship in Health Promotion Services. She looks forward to her upcoming adventures. your life as a crossroads at which you commit to a path of growth and wellness. There’s no one right way to get there. (p. 67) Chickering’s (1969) vectors can be used as guidelines that show a way of healing while still leaving room for every survivor and victim to find their own way. Chickering pointed out that “each [vector] seems to have direction and magnitude-even though the direction may be expressed more appropriately by a spiral or by steps than by a straight line” (p. 8). There is no linear process of becoming a survivor; sometimes moving backward is a step to moving forward. There is also no end to this development, and there is no finish line where kind people hand out water in tiny Dixie cups, wipe my brow with a towel, and furnish me with a beautiful shining survivor medal. I will never finish working on my survivor identity development; it is a consistent part of who I am. Rising with Competence Did you want to see me broken, bowed head and lowered eyes, shoulders falling down like teardrops, Weakened by my soulful cries? ... Up from a past that’s rooted in pain, I rise. (Angelou, Still I Rise, lines 13-16, 31-32) Chickering (1969) described his first vector, building competence, as a “three-tined pitchfork” (p. 8-9). The three tines that come together to create full competence are: intellectual competence, physical or manual skills, and interpersonal competence (Chickering). I built my intellectual competence in a variety of ways. One way was by rising up from the victim identity forced upon me by my rapists and society, as well as acknowledging my victimization ten years after my first sexual assault. I also built intellectual competence by learning about rape and (...truncated)